PADDY MCGINTY’S GOAT

arr. Leslie Hewlett

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This is a FUNNY song. What a great way to warm up the audience! This goat ruins a couple’s wedding night. Quick and witty – a folksong from the Maritimes!

LYRICS

Mister Patrick McGinty, an Irish man of note,
came into a fortune and bought himself a goat.
Said he, sure of goat’s milk, I mean to have me fill
but when he brought the Nanny home he found it was a Bill.

And now all the ladies who live in Killaloo
are all wearing bustles like their mothers used to do.
They each wore a bolster beneath the petticoat
and leave the rest in providence and Paddy McGinty’s goat.

Norah McCarthy the knot was going to tie;
she washed all her bloomers and hung them out to dry.
Then up came the goat and he saw the bits of white;
he chewed up all her patterns and on her wedding night, she said,

“Turn out the lights, quick!” And shouted out to Pat.
“Although I’m your bride, sure, I’m not worth lookin’ at.
I’d got two of ev’rything I told you when I wrote,
 but now I’ve one of nothing all thro’ Paddy McGinty’s goat.

Off the west coast of Ireland one morning there was seen
as plain as any pipes on a German submarine.
The coast guard Mahoney fell over in a fit
and now, says Paddy McGinty’s goat, it’s time to do me bit.

He jumped in the water as frisky as a whale,
swam ‘round the U-boat waggin’ his little tail.
He upped with his horns and he stuck them in the boat
and sent the Hun to Heligoland did Paddy McGinty’s goat.

Mickey Riley went to the races t’other day,
won a twenty pound note and shouted, “Hip Hooray!”
He held up the note yellin’, “Look at what I got!”
The goat came up and grabbed at it and swallowed all the lot.

“He’s eaten up me bank note,” said Mickey with a jump.
They ran for the doctor, he brought a stomach pump.
They pumped and they pumped for the twenty pound note,
but all they got was sixpence out of Paddy McGinty’s goat.

Now old Paddy’s Goat had a monstrous appetite,
 and one day for breakfast he ate some dynamite.
A whole box of matches he swallowed all serene,
 and then he went and gobbled up a quart of kerosene.

He sat by the fireside, he didn’t give a hang,
swallowed a spark and exploded with a bang!
So if you get to heaven you can bet your bottom note
that the angel with the whiskers on is Paddy McGinty’s Goat!

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